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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

File This... 

President Bush yesterday ridiculed the Social Security Trust Fund by visiting the filing cabinet that houses bond certificates backing the trust. He spoke afterwards, saying, “Imagine, the retirement security for future generations is sitting in a filing cabinet.”

In an effort to beef up my own personal retirement fund, I’ve now instructed my financial advisor to take my mutual funds and cash them in. Specifically, I want the money turned into small bills, no bigger than fives. I spoke to the press after giving these instructions, saying, “Imagine, my entire retirement fund fit into one loose-leaf notebook folder. I’m taking steps to insure volume in my retirement. Next year, we’ll be investing in quarters, dimes and nickels.”

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